went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
