KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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