he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
