put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
