And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
