it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
