i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
