she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
