I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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