I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
