I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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