Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
