Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
