So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize