i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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