the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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