Operation Purity has been aborted
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
