the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
now i know why i became what i already was.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
