Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
