I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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