I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
