Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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