He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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