This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
