She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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