Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
