if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize