his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
