My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
