I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i think i just lost a toe
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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