How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
