it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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