After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
