my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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