i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
