I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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