He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
