Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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