Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
