i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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