That's intense
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
