Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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