he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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