Umm I'm too high to move.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
