dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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