Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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