Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
