Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
