I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
