belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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