Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
