you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
