Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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