similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
