Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize