I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
